Why I'm not taking commissions (despite needing the money)

    Well, it looks like I actually have a use for this blog... Hello there. I didn't think I would be doing this, but I have made the decision to not take art commissions. This decision has been made lightly, but also not lightly. There are a myriad of reasons why I cannot do them, but that's not to say I cannot do them period. No, this is for personal reasons, not skill reasons. 

    For those who have been living under a rock, an art commission is when you pay an artist to draw something for you... yeah, that's it. It's actually pretty simple when you really think about it. I wanted to try my hand at them to make a little money on the side, but now I see that is not viable for me in the slightest. Again, this has nothing to do with my skill level. I am not "devaluing" myself as an artist, I'm avoiding a potential headache... OH BUT NO, CLEARLY I'M DEVALUING MYSELF AS AN ARTIST! WOE IS ME, ALL IS LOST!! ALL IS LOST!!! And you can already see one of the headaches I am trying to avoid ha...

Before we get into the meat and potatoes of this, check out ULTRAMagic Alternate, it's a lot of fun.

Anyways, I have a laundry list of reasons, and I think the best way would be to list them out:

1. I don't have the time for commissions

I know what people are going to start screaming. They're going to start screeching that I'm making excuses... NO, I'm explaining myself. I straight up do NOT have time for commissions. I have a lot of personal responsibilities ranging from personal health, emotional health, helping out around the house, landscaping, working on ULTRAMagic Alternate... MY MENTAL WELL BEING. These things require more time than you think, in addition to maintaining my presence on the internet, "protect the children" politicians be damned straight to hell. I don't think adding art commissions on to that list of stuff to do is a good idea anymore. I need the money, but i'm not that desperate... Jeez, what was I even thinking about with my work schedule?

2. There doesn't appear to be a demand for my art

I ran a poll on DeviantART and X (formerly Twitter) to ask if people would be interested in me doing commissions. I got some positive responses and I made an art commission sheet... I didn't get any requests or customers. No, I'm not blaming anyone in particular, but I can't do commissions if no one is actually interested. And it can't be "oh, I'll commission you in the future, that's why I said yes!" NO, I need the commissions right now if you're truly interested. This isn't a situation where you can go "I'll do it later."

Look look look... I get it. People are busy, money is tight, and commissions are a luxury. I am not blaming the people who voted in my polls nor am I pointing fingers. I'm just saying that I have a lot on my plate, and I don't have the time for art commissions, especially if there isn't an actual demand for them. Being interested is not the same as a demand for the art. And I really shouldn't have two careers at the same time. I shouldn't try to be an author and a commission artist at the same time, even if it could fix my financial situation. And people will say "no one's reading your books, so drop them and become a commission artist!" Okay, first off, are you trying to help me or being rude? Secondly, no, I am not just going to drop ULTRAMagic Alternate. That would be a betrayal of my work thus far and would render the books a complete waste of time. I would have messed up my right arm for nothing.

3. I hate "art commission culture"

I do not like art commission culture... back in the late 2010s, when I used to watch people like Spoctor Theory, Ponder Sprocket, Just A Robot, Chaos55t, The Name's Junky, Manga Kamen, Feghost, Solar Sands (before he shifted over to video essays), Grinding Gears, a commentator I legitimately can't remember at this point (lol, why did I even include this?), and even freaking Pentagrin (of all people), I was exposed to a lot of drama in the art community. I've also watched videos talking about art commission culture in general AND GOOD LORD DO I HATE THIS PETTY NONSENSE. Not every topic discussed by the aforementioned channels/content creators was art commission drama, but I got a good feel for it through hearsay and osmosis. Don't get me wrong, I appreciated the discussion of bad clients and customers. I can get behind making commentaries like what Ponder Sprocket does or looking at r/choosingbeggars like what Chaos55t does... did... I don't know, I haven't watched her in years. That stuff I don't mind.

No, what I don't like is artists policing people on their prices, and getting all haughty and condescending when someone doesn't agree with them. There are commission artists that will say you are actually hurting other artists by having lower prices than them. They demand you have higher prices, or else people will get used to lower prices. No, want to know why people say this nonsense? It's because they are most likely trying to undercut their competition. If I am right, it's pretty insidious all things considered. Raise a stink about it on social media, have artists feel bad and raise their prices, AND THEN OH LOOK, A SALE OR DISCOUNTS ON ART COMMISSIONS. Yeah, I went full tin foil hat for a moment, but can you really blame me for being this cynical given all the pushes for Digital ID, KYC, and Age Verification?

And don't even get me started on artists that charge a hundo for A SKETCH. No, not a full color with proper shading, A SKETCH. 100 FREEDOM BUCKS FOR A SKETCH, SOMETHING THEY CAN WHIP UP IN 10 TO 20 MINUTES TOPS. Yeah, remember that drama? And how everyone was screeching at each other, screaming that you just don't get it or you need to be replaced? And don't worry, we'll get into that latter nonsense in a minute. I once made a post on DA where I expressed criticism and concern towards the stability of making a career out of art commissions. I literally had some random ass commission artist come in going "you just don't get it" in the most condescending way possible... and this is long before I actually gained some semblance of a following. Why did I never block that person for the sheer gall? Oh yeah, that will really bring the customers in! Well I'd rather take the loss... GOOD!!! I DON'T WANT ANYTHING TO DO WITH YOU!

You can easily say why I am so frustrated. Between the scheming and entitlement, I can't stand considering myself a part of it. And if you think that's me being pretentious, stuff it, you don't even know what being pretentious is. I'm not trying to impress anyone here, I'm just saying what's on my mind. And no, the act of calling things pretentious is not pretentious, you're just being cringe. And further calling out someone as pretentious for calling the act of calling something pretentious is not pretentious. YOU ARE PILING ON THE CRINGE AT THIS POINT. If that sounds confusing to you, don't worry, I actually saw this in an argument on the internet somewhere one time. Gee, shall I start talking about Text Wall Argument culture on DA next?

Should I be listening to Feuer Frei by Rammstein while typing this? Hmm... YES, BANG BANG!!!

4. Payment processors are becoming excessively hostile towards artists

Ha, gee, I thought Paypal and Stripe's job was to process payments, not be the arbiters of societal standards. If Paypal and Stripe do not want artists on their platforms, then they should make it clear in their TOS so we can make our own payment processors for artists... Oh wait, the banks won't like that, forgot. Basically I don't feel like getting debanked because payment processors that don't actually want to do their stinking jobs, and I shouldn't have to fight with them to justify my right to receive and spend money as I see fit. IT'S MY MONEY, I'LL DO WHATEVER I WANT WITH IT. YOU ARE PAYMENT  P R O C E S S O R S, SO PROCESS PAYMENTS. Newsflash to the current dumb ass in chief, but a finger wagging executive order LITERALLY WON'T DO ANYTHING. It's not a law nor is it an amendment to the constitution. This might as well be the same thing as when the League of Nations tried to waggle their fingers at Germany when WWII kicked off.

5. VGEN is a joke and you know it.

So what you're telling me is that I either have to be a famous internet artist or get my following to vouch for me to be a part of your website to have the privilege of a dedicated art commission platform? Well that's not happening for me any time soon... Oh I know, how dare I not have overnight success! This is what I will never understand about platforms that are invite only... They're either screwing over their users or are up to something insidious behind the scenes. Seriously, someone like me is never going to be a VGEN user, so I am not going to even try.

Plus VGEN has a toxic user base. Remember that artist that got harassed for not wanting to draw same-sex couples (regardless of gender)? You can't force an artist to draw something they don't want to draw. Gee, that kind of sounds like facism... I have my limits: I don't draw propaganda, blue lipstick, septum rings, or ideologically sensitive clothing. Don't like it? Tough shit, find another artist who draws that stuff. Seriously, why would you be coming to me over an artist that actually draws that stuff? And don't even get me started on the morons that tried to charge millions of dollars if you were "right wing" or a "conservative." Why would I want to be a part of a community like that? I already hate both sides of the spectrum equally, so would I have to gain out of being on VGEN?

6. Art commission culture is getting weirdly political when it has no right to be

What the flip is wrong with people as of late? Why are art commissions the new political battleground? Yeah, you've seen all the right-wingers going around screaming that they are going to replace artists with AI and left-wingers are going around screeching that they don't want to work with "Nazis..." Seriously, what is wrong with people? Currently people are screeching about how they should do be able to do whatever they want with the art they buy, and the other side is screeching about how you can't even exist in the same reality as AI or they won't work with you... AGAIN, WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH PEOPLE?

I'll play my cards right now and say I hate AI. It is not true AI, it's bringing all the mouth-breathing genepool who have terminal Dunning-Kruger Effect out of the woodwork, the data centers are actively destroying the planet, the home computer market has been annihilated, every interaction with chat bots is building and funding the AI surveillance state, and SO MANY PEOPLE ARE GRIFTING OFF OF AI. I love how right-wingers keep screaming how they are being oppressed by big government and don't want to be spied on, yet have a subscription to Grok or ChatGPT. Oh, and then there are the con artists who are using AI to scam people like crazy AND DON'T EVEN GET ME STARTED ON AI SLOP YOUTUBE CHANNELS. I am getting so sick and tired of seeing videos whose thumbnail is WHITE BACKGROUND WITH IMAGES AND TOPIC NAMES. Also AI generated music is garbage and you know it.

Like I said in the first paragraph, commission artists don't like AI, and then you got right-wing, mouth-breathing genepool coming in with AI-generated references and demanding that they be able to upload the art into a chatbot and start churning out AI slop by the truck load. And make no mistake, all of the left-wing commission artists are just as infuriating, picking fights where there is none to be had and attacking people for no reason, see what I just said about VGEN. Personally I find both sides insufferable and are making art commissions political when they have no right to be. It's a luxury. Follow the rules and we'll talk. If not, go find another artist to hire. That's what the free market is for. It's hilarious that right-wingers profess the values of gatekeeping, but then get triggered when they get gatekept themselves. And yes, obligatory left-wingers are hypocrites when they welcome "everyone" in, yet gatekeep and deplatform people the people they don't like.

Also if you're aggressively right-wing, WHY IN THE BLUE TRUCKING BLAZES ARE YOU TRYING TO HIRE A CLEARLY LEFT-WING ARTIST!? The same goes for the other way around.

This is what I have to say to both sides:

Left-wingers: As much as I don't like AI, ultimately you can't control what the customer does with the art after the money is exchanged. You offered a service and they paid for it. If I bought a book from you and wanted to read it to my family, you have no right to come into my house and demand I stop. You are an artist who accepted money to draw, now draw and take my money. I don't want to hear a lecture about your politics and why you think you should get whatever you want in life because you're oppressed somehow.

Right-wingers: Artists have a right to set rules and standards. If you do not like it, GO SOMEWHERE ELSE. That is what the free market is for. If you go into a restaurant and say you're never eating there again if they don't let you dance on their tables while people are eating, they'll kick you out. And if you keep picking a fight with them, they'll call the cops on you. Obviously this isn't quite the same scenario as art commissions, but it's the principle I'm getting at here.

And to both sides: If you say you'll never work with me ever, no, you're going to sit down and work with me whether you like it or not. Newsflash, sweetheart, but we're all humans sharing this Earth and I don't cotton to enemies. You WILL get along with me. And if you just screamed I'm burning bridges, that is the most smooth-brained, 0 IQ response imaginable. Bridges are easy to build, rebuild, and fix. Bridges are expected to be built, and must be built to maintain society. Bridges are mandatory. Bridges are in demand. Bridges are the only keeping us from reverting back to hunter-gatherer cavemen. BRIDGES MUST ALWAYS BE A PART OF OUR LIVES. Saying that the bridge is burnt because I disagreed with you is a declaration that you are rejecting civilized society. And if you burn that bridge to get away from me, I WILL rebuild it and get in your face again and explain to you why bridges are important.

Also the switch from "DEI" to "BRIDGE" by the investment firms is hilarious. Oh yeah, they really want to build "bridges," guys. Obviously I am not talking about that nonsense, I'm talking about actual bridges, the structures you use to get across gaps, literally and figuratively.

AND YES, I'M AWARE OF WHAT I SAID IN SECTION 3. What I am getting at here is pettiness. Despite my declaration about bridges, the free market is a thing. We do not have to spend our money on an artist if we don't want to. There is a distinct difference between going to another artist and refusing to talk to someone ever again because they disagreed with you. What I'm saying is don't burn that bridge, because it can easily be rebuilt. Instead, walk down another bridge because there's more down stream. Don't fight the cycle of violence with more violence, it only begets more violence.

Of course both sides are going to scream I'm hyper whatever side they're against, despite the fact that I am looking at both sides of the argument here. Oh I know, God forbid I said something that you don't agree with... OH MY, HOW DARE I INSINUATE YOU WOULD EVER AGREE WITH SOMETHING THAT YOU DON'T AGREE WITH! I'm sorry, let me rephrase that: Oh I know, God forbid I said something that doesn't agree with you. Remember, they NEVER agree with you, you agree with them OR ELSE... and the sad thing is both sides take that mentality and then scream it's only okay when they do it BECAUSE THEY'RE ON THE RIGHT SIDE OF HISTORY.

Conclusion

Alright, before I go on a whole tirade about WWII era history and how the left grossly misuses and abuses a certain word, let's wrap this up.

There, that's the nitty gritty of why I don't want to do commissions right now... that also turned into a rant about politics and how stupid the current culture war is. If any of this bothered you... how do you make it this far? No, seriously? I'll include the commission sheet below so you can get a good idea of what I was planning. But yeah, this stuff ain't for me right now, between personal responsibilities and how dumb society is acting at the moment.

If you want to support me, there's always ULTRAMagic Alternate and my Patreon. Consider supporting me at the Normal Magic Tier at $3/month. And if we get enough supporters, I'll open up bigger tiers.

The commission sheet in question: